1) Merging with AOL
2) Accepting a limited partnership with Google
3) Being bought out by a joint NewsCorp/Microsoft group
4) Being purchased by Microsoft outright.

For what it's worth, Gates and Co. want an answer in three weeks or they're cutting out.

2. Network Solutions Is in a Spot of Trouble. In addition to offering poor customer support, reselling customer's domain names, and generally not doing a great job with domain registry, it seems as though they're putting on a little show behind the scenes of their websites also. Thanks to a little blip in their huge EULA, they can turn any dead links on your site into links for one of their partner sites, reaping advertising benefits of your clueless visitors. That's just swell!

3. So...Is Resident Evil 5, racist? Political commentator N'Gai Croal thinks so, and he's pissed as hell about it. You see, he's mad that all the zombies in the game seem to be black. In a game that takes place primarily in Africa and Haiti. And he's upset that none of these black zombies seem to be particularily articulate. Um...Yes. That would solve everything.

4. You Know That Plane Ticket You Bought for Your Trip to Bermuda? Start Walking. Over 3,000 flights have been cancelled this week over FAA reports that many planes currently in service by the major airlines don't meet airworthyness standards. Which means that a quarter of a million passangers have been left sitting on their ass hoping that somebody has a plane that can actually fly. People are even taking trains. TRAINS! Welcome to 1850, America!

5. Apparently, Nobody Is Less Informed About the Digital TV Revolution, Than the People in Charge of the Digital TV Revolution. The FCC is handing out millions of dollars in fines after almost none of the TV manufacturers or retailers were found to be urging customers to "make the switch" to digital TVs. Apparently, federally mandated signage and warnings that were supposed to be attached to TVs and displays informing customers that the TV's would essentially be useless in less than a year were never put on older sets. Oops!

2. Forget King James, LeBron Is King Kong. Vogue Magazine ran a special cover this week featuring LeBron James holding a basketball in one hand, and model Giselle Bunchen in the other. The black community has decried this as a racist portrayal of LeBron as an angry gorilla. Which totally reminds me of that scene where King Kong grabbed Faye Ray and posted up on Shaq.

3. Grand Theft Auto 4 Looms on the Horizon. In an interesting turn of events, if you hear a song on the in-game radio that you like, you can download it on your X-Box or PS3, and also grab a digital copy of it off of Amazon. Anything new? Nope. But an interesting use of a medium still pretty much in its infancy.

4. "Hot Hot Sex" is No More. While the Italian bloggers who were behind the craze never officially said that they were inflating the video's hit count, they will forever go down in net infamy as the creators of the Internet's stupidest controversy. After all, everybody knows that the "Rick Roll" and "Chocolate Rain" are YouTube's most watched videos.

5. Dr. Pepper Wants to Buy You a Drink. Of course, there's a catch. If Guns N Roses releases "Chinese Democracy" this year, Dr. Pepper will distribute one free can of soda for every American. How you might ask? Who cares! It's not going to happen. They might as well have offered to buy everyone a car for every copy of "Duke Nukem Forever" sold this year.

2. Turns Out It Really Is Getting Harder and Harder to Breathe. Thousands of cities world wide have smog that is approaching toxic levels. Most of the talk has centered on Beijing, mostly because it's the host city of the 2008 Olympics. I didn't really want to see the rowing events anyway.

3. It's Not a Good Week to Be Governer of New York. Oh, Eliot Spitzer. Caught up in your own prostitution ring bust. Maybe next time don't issue an order to crack down on a crime you're committing. Marion Berry never claimed to be tough on crack, you know? At least you've provided your ho a lucrative singing career!

4. Gibson is Suing Activision. What's that patent violation? Illegal use of Gibson's name? Failure to pay for the use of Gibson images in the game? Nope. Gibson claims they own the patent for "simulation of the music creation process." Awesome. I own the patent on reading this blog. You all owe me, like...$50.

5. Ashton Kutcher's New "Paparazzi Candid Camera" Show Is Actually...Um...Good?! I sat and watched an episode of his new show where celebrities run around and try to get weird stories about themselves in the papers, and it was actually pretty fun. I'm sure it'll be stupid in a month or so, but whatever. Kudos to him for not being a complete dweeb this week.

2. Nintendo Dips Its Toes into the Paid Internet Channel Business. Apparently, seeing Microsoft making money hand over fist with XBox Live and Sony with the Playstation Network has Nintendo excited. Starting later this year some games will be charging a small monthly fee to access online content. Rumor has it the test baby for this might be a new Animal Crossing.

3. Sony Bought Its Way to BluRay Victory. Sooo...They only spent $400 million to get Warner to drop support of the HD-DVD format. At least the battle is done. Now I can get back to what's really important. Not caring about *one* new DVD format.

4. You May Have Heard of These Ringers on American Idol I even wrote a whole update about it. Look, I'm with Paula Abdul, people really are made up of all the colors of the rainbow. Wait...I mean...um...Let's get drunk? No. No. What I meant to say is, "It doesn't really matter." Yeah. Paula Abdul is the great philosopher of our era.

5. John McCain Is Having All Kinds of Trouble. First he's accused of being seduced by a lobbyist (Anti-Big Lobbies, Pro-Big Boobies!), and now his Arizona campaign advisor was arrested for making illegal land deals. The guy can't buy a break lately. Well, actually, he probably could thanks to all that lobby and illegal land deal money he's been raking in.

New England 35, New York 27

2. The Wall Street Journal Is Hiking Their Online Rates. Rupert Murdoch bought the Journal, in part, with the intention of adding their resources to all his "free new media applications." In other words, to make it free so that he could link all his other sites through it. Well, now, not only is it keeping the archaic pay for content model, but it's raising it's prices. Wha-huh? The differences in quality amongst News Corps sites is just nuts.

3. Tuesday is Super Tuesday. The Most Superest Tuesday I know! Lots of electoral votes will be determined in both the Democratic and Republican primaries, and we should have a much clearer picture of who our presidential candidates will be in 2008. Well, except for the Republicans, of course, who will find some way to split the votes between McCain, Romney, and Huckabee. Look for Ron Paul to get a random vote from New Weedistan too. It almost makes me wish Al Sharpton were running this year. *sniff*

4. The Hobbit Officially Officially Announced. At the helm? Spanish Wunderkind (that's Spanish for Director) Guiremo Del Torro, the man behind that really weird art house flick Pan's Labyrinth. Peter Jackson is on board to produce, and filming is scheduled to start in 2009 (pending the writer's strike).

5. TiVo May Kill DVR in the U.S. If you're recording your TV on any DVR device that isn't made or authorized by TiVo, you may be in trouble in the next two years. A court ruled recently that TiVo did indeed patent "Multimedia Time Warping Technology (that is the...um...pausing and playing of "live" TV...which...isn't true, but ok)" and that Dish Network has to pay out damages or stop allowing its users to access its DVR service. So far, TiVo is mum on whether or not it plans on pursuing settlements on similar boxes issued by TimeWarner, DirecTV and Comcast, but...it stands to reason, eh?

New England 35, New York 27

2. The Wall Street Journal Is Hiking Their Online Rates. Rupert Murdoch bought the Journal, in part, with the intention of adding their resources to all his "free new media applications." In other words, to make it free so that he could link all his other sites through it. Well, now, not only is it keeping the archaic pay for content model, but it's raising it's prices. Wha-huh? The differences in quality amongst News Corps sites is just nuts.

3. Tuesday is Super Tuesday. The Most Superest Tuesday I know! Lots of electoral votes will be determined in both the Democratic and Republican primaries, and we should have a much clearer picture of who our presidential candidates will be in 2008. Well, except for the Republicans, of course, who will find some way to split the votes between McCain, Romney, and Huckabee. Look for Ron Paul to get a random vote from New Weedistan too. It almost makes me wish Al Sharpton were running this year. *sniff*

4. The Hobbit Officially Officially Announced. At the helm? Spanish Wunderkind (that's Spanish for Director) Guiremo Del Torro, the man behind that really weird art house flick Pan's Labyrinth. Peter Jackson is on board to produce, and filming is scheduled to start in 2009 (pending the writer's strike).

5. TiVo May Kill DVR in the U.S. If you're recording your TV on any DVR device that isn't made or authorized by TiVo, you may be in trouble in the next two years. A court ruled recently that TiVo did indeed patent "Multimedia Time Warping Technology (that is the...um...pausing and playing of "live" TV...which...isn't true, but ok)" and that Dish Network has to pay out damages or stop allowing its users to access its DVR service. So far, TiVo is mum on whether or not it plans on pursuing settlements on similar boxes issued by TimeWarner, DirecTV and Comcast, but...it stands to reason, eh?

2. Netflix Hoping Consumers Switch to All Digital Format in the Next Few Years. Their response to the USPS' bitching about their envelopes clogging up sorting machines? Get rid of the DVDs. The idea would be to stream everything through a set top box like X-Box Live or On Demand Cable. Of course, these services haven't always gone well.

3. Sears/KMart Is Tracking Your Every Move. If you were dumb enough to install their "community software" that is. What does the Sears/KMart Community Software Program do exactly? Tracks your bank statements, surfing habits, reads your e-mail and reports back to the hive-mind, of course. I hope the government hasn't learned about this groundbreaking software!

4. Mike Huckabee and Barrack Obama Win Iowa. Of course, Iowa means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Hell, I won an Iowa caucus a few years ago (true story!), but right now those are the two that are looking the most like candidates for President. But Ron Paul did poll ahead of Rudy Guliani, which proves that, despite all evidence to the contrary, Iowa does have colleges.

5. Apple Is Killing the DRM. SONY executives are admiting privately that the real reason they're dropping their DRM (the most restrictive in the business!) along with Warner Music, is because Apple has the digital music business cornered with iPods and iTunes. The only way for a company to make a buck and still get through to consumers with iPods? Sell copyright-protection free music. What a country!

2. Forget Nigerian Scammers, Let Me Talk to the Russian Chatbot! There's a new "social experiment" going on in Russia, where a supposedly lifelike chat program is hitting on people over IM and getting them to send it money and personal information. She must be hot.

3. The Word of the Year? w00t. According to Merriam Webster anyway. Wasn't w00t the word of the year, like, eight years ago? Way to stay on the ball, Merriam Webster.

4. Analysts Are Predicting ClassMates.com Will Be at Population Zero by 2012. This ends the proposed Classmates IPO that was all the buzz a few months ago. But, I mean, who wouldn't want to pay for the same stuff Facebook and MySpace are giving away for free?

5. CompUSA Is Finally Closing Its Doors in the United States. Goodbye, old friend. You...well...I mean...I bought a computer there once. And the DVD drive broke within a week. So yeah...I guess now I won't have another place to price out those broken Harry Potter DVDs?

1. TV Studios Hoarding Unwanted Film Scripts. If you've ever written a crappy movie that got rejected by a major studio, they'd like to talk to you again. In case the writers strike drags into late next year, the studios are buying whatever anybody tries to sell them right now. Finally! Pirate vs Ninja: The Series!

2. Maybe Giving Away Fake Drivers Licenses Wasn't the Best Marketing Pitch. The Producers of Superbad thought it'd be cute to give away fake "McLovin" drivers licenses with their DVDs. Then people were like, "Wait...are we giving out fake drivers licenses?" Then they all went back to smoking weed.

3. Wikipedia Is Being Run By the Illuminati. Or some such nonsense. Apparently, a bunch of people are getting free rein on Wikipedia right now and are part of a "mailing list society," and anybody who says anything on their Discussion pages is getting IP banned. As Wiki's founder says though, "It's not a democracy."

4. The Video Game Industry Scored a Solid C in Ratings Effectiveness. Hey, man, that's passing. Getting a C is like...an A. Apparently, retailers are still having trouble not selling games to minors though. Who knew?

5. Kanye, Winehouse, and Obama Lead the Grammy Nominations List. Wait...what? Once again, the Hock Show was passed over for that "Best Spoken Word Album" award we so richly deserve. Frickin' politicians.

Also checkout MrROFL.com for our groups new Internet TV shows.

--dan

2. Yahoo Killed Black Monday. One week after we predicted a slower than normal Black Monday on "The Hock Show," Yahoo almost made it happen, failing to process orders for all 40,000 of its clients for 11 hours. Still, online shopping was up 20% on Monday.

3. Google Maps Rolls Out a Rudimentary GPS System. It's...well...It'll tell you what state your in. Actually, if your phone has GPS built in, it's great, but if you're still running on one of those brick phones? Well, you're living in 1983. Welcome to Internet.

4. Best Buy Sent Shock Troops After Geek Squad. Apparently, even if you heard about somebody playing solitare on somebody else's computer one time in grade school, your ass got interrogated and fired. I'd almost applaud the move by Best Buy, except...The Geek Squad still pretty much sucks. Not as bad as Firedog, but...you know.

5. Yahoo and Adobe Agree to Put Ads in PDF Files. Man...Just what I need when I open up a scientific journal online. An ad for Viagra. I mean...I guess it makes reading more fun if I can try to beat George Bush in a weightlifting course, right?

2) German Authorities Are Pissed That They Can't Wiretap Skype. In other news, if you want to wiretap Hock Show or Three Robots, go ahead. I talk about all my jewel heists and plots for world domination on my other internet radio show.

3) Black Friday Isn't the "Event" It Used to Be. Sales are down around the board as millions of Americans would rather stay home and sleep rather than stand outside Best Buy at 4 a.m. to buy a copy of Barbie Horse Adventure for $5.

4) Comcast Is Kind of Ticked That the NFL Is Running Ads Urging Fans to Drop Cable. Yeah, who would've guessed? I'm no big fan of Comcast or anything but the whole NFL Network thing is getting a little ridiculous. You want to Flex-Schedule yourself some hot Dallas on Green Bay action, that's fine, but don't go pissing and moaning when more than two thirds of your fans can't even see it.

5) Ricky Williams Returning to the NFL. What's the over/under on his smoking weed DURING his first game back. On the plus side, at least he's not using roids, right? You've got to pick and choose your battles, NFL!

2. In order to drum up business for the struggling Zune, Microsoft is offering to custom etch them for you. The only problem? Nobody has a Zune.

3. NBC Has Fired the Entire Crew of Saturday Night Live, Without Severance.

4. CEO of Warner Music, Edgar Bronfman admits that suing potential consumers and ignoring iTunes wasn't the best business decision.

5. Walmart's Linux PC Is Selling Like Hotcakes.

1. Manhunt 2 Is Being Pulled from Store Shelves What...you mean a game called "Manhunt" is violent?! Of course, this is another one of those Hot Coffee, "You have to do something illegal to get at it anyway" hacks, but I could care less. Because it's Manhunt.

2. NBC Celebrated "Green Week." Among the energy saving tactics employed by the network, they turned off the lights in the NFL Sunday Night Football studio when they were at commercial, they recycled the career of David Schwimmer, and they donated all those goddamn Bee Movie ads to third world countries, which are virtually adless!

3. A Former AT&T Employee Says AT&T Is Spying on Everyone. Man, AT&T loves them them some 1984. I imagine everybody is doing this, but it doesn't make it any more dumb. Clandestine rooms and secret meetings over what Grandma is having for dinner on Tuesday? Way to waste consumer money, dudes!

4. Babelfish, Maybe not the Best Tool for International Diplomacy. A group of Israeli journalists attending a conference in Holland wanted to impress some Dutch dignitaries by asking some questions in Dutch. They ended up asking them if their mothers would sleep with Israel and Palistine. Well...I'm sure that would end the conflict.

5. The New York Times and the Washington Post Are in a Bidding War over Digg.. I'll sell Hock Show for half of the $400 million they're asking. Geez...At least maybe now Kevin Rose can afford a decent haircut.

This Episode is ATT Spy approved.  We know that they know that we know they like our show.

2. Facebook Is about to Own Your Computer. Well, your browser windows anyway. Facebook is launching an ad tracker service that will follow you around and drop in ads on your favorite sites. Not exactly new, but they're the new biggest competition for Google.

3. NBC and Fox Are Launching Internet Network TV. It's a grab to steal content dropping from iTunes only...this might actually work. The service is supposed to be pretty slick, and even the people that were poopooing it a few weeks ago, think that it might have legs.

4. Steven Colbert Has Been Banned from the Ballot. It was fun while it lasted, but there was just too much red tape for this mockumentary to have any legs. I'll just go back to writing in "Spud Webb."

5. In Order to Help Kids Study for SATs, a Korean Company is Releasing SAT Infused Manga. Essentially, the books are just standard manga (including Warcraft and Van Helsing, among others) with standard words replaced with SAT vocabulary. Forsoothe, vile dragon! I am about to puncture you with my protruding foil

FOOTBALL PLAYERS ARE DUMB,  CHECK IT!
http://www.macmirabile.com/Wonderlic/Wonderlic.htm

2. It's Cancelling Season! Nashville and Viva Laughlin are already out. Is your favorite show on the bubble? Well, let me put it this way...Probably. On the flipside, the new season of Amazing Race starts in a few weeks!

3. Dumbledore Is Gay. It's this generation's Vader is Luke's father. No wonder Dumbledore wants to hang out with Harry so much. You know he saw Equus. At least we know Gandalf had someone to hang out with.

4. Speaking of Magic, David Copperfield Is Being Investigated. Police seized computers and cameras with video recordings of women he was interested in hooking up with from his shows. Also seized? $2 million. Just cuz.

5. Valve Cracking Down on Importing. People trying to register copies of The Orange Box on Steam in countries where the game has not been released are finding that it has been blocked on their computer. Damn you Region-Coded software! Those Austrailians want their Portal!

2. Star Wars TV Series on the Fast Track. Lucasfilm is currently hiring around 20 writers who will go over a season arc with Lucas, and then split off to write individual episodes. Lucas will pay for production himself, and once they have about half the season in the bag, they'll shop it around. The same is being done for the Clone Wars Animated Series. No word yet on what Jar Jar's per diem will be.

3. Adobe Planning a Move to All Internet Based Tools by 2017. That's right kids, no more software for you! Adobe's president basically came out and said, "Look, we think people are dumb enough to pay for a subscription to Photoshop every month rather than find something else." Good...luck with that?

4. The Hottest Item on BitTorrent This Week? RadioHead's "Free" Album. Ooooh, Internet People. When will you learn? I know it's hard to understand, but when something is already cheap as free, you don't need to steal it. I guess the allure of getting illicit MP3s really is too much for us to bear.

5. Sony Is Selling Its Cell Processor Manufacturing Facilities. No, it's not giving up on the PS3 (at least not yet), but it *is* turning over creation of its priciest parts to...Toshiba. The manufacturer of a little thing called HD-DVD. Yeah...This relationship is going to end well.

On a side note, James needs to buy an XBOX, but that is another story!

2. The Creators of Left Behind Are Suing Everybody Who Has Ever Talked about Left Behind. There's nothing quite as Christianly as a lawsuit. I think it was I Uhura 28:15 that said, "Thou shalt sue thy neighbor if they talk smack on your crappy videogame." And now I'm in line for a lawsuit! Good thing I've got them Google Ads.

3. A Pennsylvania Teen Had a Legitimate Arsenal in His Bedroom. Yeah...I don't think he needed an Uzi. Well, unless he was going Rhino hunting. Those things are hard to take down. But, I have to admit, the flamethrower was overdoing it. Seriously though kids, guns are bad, Mmmmkay?

4. Drew Carey Set to Debut Next Week on The Price is Right Best of luck to the recently engaged Mr. Carey, who inhabits several of my favorite games including Plinko, Hole in One, Mountain Climber, and Lawsuit Rummy.

5. Atlanic City Mayor Resurfaces, Resigns. Aw man, I loved this. Only in a place like Atlantic City could you have a mayor who's under federal investigation, members of the city council in prison, and random people showing up on the Boardwalk, claiming to run the town. I'm going to book myself a flight and see if I can't get into politics.

2. Prince Is Suing Everybody Who's Ever Heard of Prince. The guy who's known for giving out free copies of his CDs and holding free concerts at his house is going sue happy, tagging everyone from eBay to YouTube to Pirate Bay with lawsuits. It's like this guy just heard about the Internet. Meanwhile, if you hurry you can still get a free copy of his latest CD with a Happy Meal.

3. Just in Time for the iPod Touch, Linux Nerds Can't Use iPods. It's kind of amusing, and I'm sure it'll be patched, but the new firmware update for the iPod blocks third party applications from updating the iPod's track lists. Which means? Linux users (who can't use iTunes) are pretty well screwed. There's already a million geeks working on a fix for this, but it's still kind of silly.

4. Collin Farrel Gives a Homeless Man $10,000. He took the guy to Target, let him buy whatever he wanted, gave him a wad of cash, and later this year, he's taking him on a trip to Ireland. I knew I picked the wrong line of work.

5. 50 Cent is Not Going to Retire After All. After a gentleman's wager, 50 Cent bet that if Kanye West outsold him this week, 50 would retire. Kanye did, by 250,000 albums. Fiddy's response? "Uh, yeah...who wants some vitamin water?" What is this world coming to when you can't even take a rapper at his word?

2. Sony Has Finally Admitted that the PS3 Is a Video Game Console. You mean it isn't a supercomputer? It isn't a DVD Player? It won't make my life better by taking up space on my shelf. Well, finally! Now if only there were...games for it.

3. Jack Thompson Attempting to Get President and Governers Bush to Testify on His Behalf. He's been disbarred in Florida, but that won't stop him from bringing the crazy. Does he honestly believe Dubya's going to rush to his defense? No. Does he honestly believe that this will get him mentioned on news services like Hockshow.com? Yes. Mission accomplished!

4. The DVD War Is Almost Over. And the winners? Nobody. HD-DVD and Sony both basically announced they were winning the war this week, using flimsy circumstantial evidence to prove it. But the least shocking thing in the numbers released by both companies? The overwhelming number of DVD buyers that wish they'd both just go the hell away and let us watch our DVD copies of Golden Girls in peace.

5. Indian Software Companies Are Outsourcing Work to U.S. So begins the great circle jerk of life. You handle all our phone calls, we'll write your crappy software. Can we start outsourcing our films to Bollywood though? They've got some crazy awesome stuff over there. Thanks.

2. NBC Removing Its Fall Line-Up from iTunes. CBS, ABC, and Fox among others are still onboard, but NBC wanted to charge $4.99 per episode to download which didn't jive with Apple's $1.99 price point. $4.99 for an episode of "The Office"? No thanks. Who pays to download episodes of CBS shows anyway? Isn't that why Google Video got shut down?

3. Wrestlers, Football Players Are on Steroids. Ok, the football players, I get. But wrestlers on steroids? You've got to be kidding me! Between this and everybody from tennis players to pro golfers to baseball players being thrown under the bus for using HGH and testosterone, you have to wonder if everybody isn't on some kind of juice. And they say there's no parity in professional sports.

4. CBS Under Fire as Their "Reality" TV Shows Screw Up. Ok, brief rundown: Survivor is in China this year, bringing all kinds of weird feelings to the media as US/China relations are strained, and most Americans don't even know where "China" is. CBS is running a series this fall called "Kid Nation," a delightful look at what happens when the only labor is child labor. Don't get hurt, die, or get an STD, though kids: Your parents signed a waiver stating that anybody on staff could try to apply first aid, even if they have no idea what they're doing! Oh, and "Big Brother" has gotten a little flack lately about how it is creatively editing its houseguests this year. Dick threatening to rape Jen until she dies? Nah, he's a lovable rouge and she's a prissy bitch. Amber dropping more Jewish slurs than Mel Gibson at a Shindler's List screening? Whateva! She's just a crying mess of love, y'alls. Please.

5. Hollywood Is a Straight Up Mess. Owen Wilson attempts suicide, Britney got tired of screwing up her kids so she's freaking MTV out with her comeback special, Lindsey's sexing up and doing drugs in rehab, Superbad is number one at the box office...What is the world coming to? I miss the golden days in Hollywood when the men were men and the women were attention whores. Like when Donald fought Rosie.

1. Michael Vick Pleads Guilty. Oh, Michael. You couldn't escape your one vice: the inability to pass. Wait...no...the inability to stop gambling on animals killing each other. There was some thought that he might onlyget probation, but we all know better. The guy won't take an NFL field again. No more killing Bengals or Dolphins, Michael! I mean...Wait....

2. Nicole Ritchey Served 83 Minutes in Jail. That sounds about the right punishment for driving down a busy street the wrong way and cracked out of your gourd. Geez, I've spent longer waiting in line for a Big Mac, and I didn't even almost kill anybody.

3. The G.I. Joe Movie is Moving Forward with the Director of The Mummy Attached. Still no Snake Eyes? I'm still not buying it. I don't think Hollywood gets why people remember G.I. Joe so fondly. But then again...They did Transformers up pretty good.

4. Turns Out the iPhone Sucks Worse Than You Thought. That battery can only hold 300 charges, which is actually quite a bit, unless you're constantly using it and charging it like...well...the typical iPhone user. And once the battery is dead? Yeah, it's going to be a couple hundred dollars more to get that fixed by Apple. Don't want to void the warranty, do you? Then again, it's already been hacked to accept other service providers, so maybe that pesky little warranty is just getting in the way.

5. The YouTubes is Goin' Crazy! Litterally dozens of angry nerds are shuffling about (on a blog YouTube set up specificially for them to bitch, no less) complaining that YouTube's new interstitial ad policy is killing their free video service. If you haven't seen it, essentially, any licensed videos on Youtube now feature pop-in ads running across the bottom (like ads for TV shows during TV Shows on FOX, for example), which you can click on for an additional commercial. I hate them too, but is it worth staging a net protest? Only if we can get one of those fakey petitions going!

1. FoxNews Got Caught with Its Hands in the Wikipedia Jar. The world's most fair and unbiased news organization spreading propaganda on the world's most fair and unbalanced encyclopedia? What is the Internet coming to?! Seriously though, now everybody looks like idiots, so...well played.

2. Peter Jackson Might Be Back on The Hobbit. That's right, after staging his own war against New Line Cinema, Peter Jackson is back in talks to visit the land of Middle Earth once again. Well, I guess something has to pay for that jewel encrusted driveway.

3. Election Machine Manufacturer Diebold Shocked That Nobody Wants to Buy Their Faulty Voting Machines. E-Voting is pretty shady to begin with. When the U.S. Government allows people to cast their votes for President by texting them to 98927 or going online at WhoWantsToBePresident.com, I'm checking out.

4. EA Is Halting Production on Some of Its Mac Games. Mac has never been the best gaming console in the world, but when the biggest game manufacturer right now says, "Yeah...I don't think so...." there might be some issues there. Unless, of course, you love Solitare. Then you're cool.

5. According to a University of Michigan Study, Yahoo Leads Google in Consumer Satisfaction. Ok, it's only one point, but the only explaination I can think of is that Yahoo's got a little more going on on the mainpage. Google's got too much going on in the back room. That's ok, Google will own the University of Michigan this time next year.

Xbox 360, DiRT is sweet. Forza is ok too I guess.

Lambergini are pussys for not being in a game where you can be wrecked.

The new Madden is out, and pretty cool. It is missing a bunch of features that were in the PS2 version.

Best buy thinks people that buy Madden are lazy and fat, they offered Coke and Doritos along side the game.

Please dont click on our Google ads.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie sucks dog balls

Walmart is selling Sam and Max Season 1, Matt likes it.  I guess it is funny and what-not.  It is only $30.  It is an oldschool adventure game.

1. With over 1 million preorders, Halo 3 is the fastest selling prerelease game of all time. And with a collector's edition priced at the same price as a console, who can blame people? At least the mini-helmet and DVD will keep you distracted while Microsoft sends you a replacement console.

2. Google Has Added a Comments Section to Its News Page. Not that that's anything new, but what's different about this is that only people referenced in the story can add comments. Next step? Get myself mentioned on Google News.

3. Rockstar Has Put in an Appeal to the British Film Board to Allow Them to Release Manhunt 2 in the UK. You know, I'm all for gamer and game company rights and all that, but a game this stupid doesn't deserve the attention it's getting. They should be spending their time and money on more noble pursuits like, say, GTA IV.

4. World of Warcraft Movie Announced. No, dear friends, it's not Wednesday, but the long rumored WoW movie has finally been unofficially officially confirmed. Apparently it will take place between the events of Warcraft III: THe Frozen Throne and the start of WoW as sort of a prequel to the game. As long as they release it on a Tuesday morning, fans will be there.

5. 30% of XBox 360 Owners Use the 360's HD Graphics, 60% of PS3 Owners Don't Know What BluRay Even Is. And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you buy a Wii. Who really cares about progressive scans or format changes? What we really want is a system that makes us all look like idiots.

2. Training Camp Season Has Begun. My favorite time of year! When everybody is filled with optimism and joy. When guys who will spend their whole careers on the bench are holding out for millions, and all stars injure themselves running non-contact drills. It's all down hill from here, folks.

3. Dateline NBC was "outed" at Hacker Conference DefCon. Look, hidden pen cameras and audio recording ties might fool Nigerian scammers and pedos, but you can't get away with that crap at a convergence of the geekiest geeks who ever geeked. "What, these? These are my comically large glasses! That blinking red light? That...That just means that they're working! And they are! I can see!"

4. Major Media Companies Are Considering Charging for Filesharing within a House. Some corporations believe that you should be charged for that MP3 you upload to your iPod, that episode of Lost you stream to your XBox 360, and that copy of "Big Booties 7" you're burning right now on DVD. Something tells me that bill will go over about as well as a reporter at a hacker convention.

5. Google Phone on the Way. Yeah. Coming soon: Hock Show Phone. Talk to yourself over the internet! Free streaming pictures of Dan in precarious positions! Browse Hock Show Dot Com and nothing else! Future versions may even allow you to make phone calls!

2. Miss New Jersey Wasn't Slutty Enough to Get Kicked Out of Whatever Contest She Was In. This just goes to show you, if you have pictures up on the internet, chances are that somebody is going to find a way to blackmail you with them. Especially if you're in a contest that judges how good you look in a bikini. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go take down those Facebook pictures of me making out with that toaster. I was only 17! Don't judge me!!!

3. Harry Potter Has a Huge Midweek Debute. These kids are going to be trillionaires by the time this series checks out. It's ridiculous. When I was their age I was just learning to...talk or whatever it was I did when I was seventeen. I'm pretty sure I had a Speak N Spell....

4. This Summer's Hot TV Trend: Karaoke Shows. How do you capitalize on the success of American Idol? Take out the judges, the host, the attractive tweens, the good singers, place in Wayne Brady or Joey Fatone depending on what non-threatening suburban housewives you're catering to, and you have a hit game show! Don't Stop ______'!

5. World of Warcraft is shipping to China. Due to strict government policies in the country, skeletons and other spooky imagery will be removed from the game and replaced with something a little more mythologically friendly. No word yet on whether or not their servers will feature American gold farmers.

1. Digg contracts Microsoft for Their Advertising Platform. Talk about not knowing your audience...I probably shouldn't speak ill of Digg now that we're somewhat affiliated with them, but this is a miscalculation of hillarious proportions. I expect that the outraged users will continue to post about their outrage on Digg.

2. A cat in Rhode Island Is Predicting Hospital Deaths With Alarming Regularity. That's all well and good, but where can I get me a cat that can predict the lotto numbers? Seriously, having a grim reaper cat isn't anything to brag about. It's just creepy.

3. Drew Carey Is the New Host of The Price is Right. The good news is that they probably won't have to worry about their host creepily feeling up the models any more. The bad news is, he'll probably try to eat them. Whatever. So long as they still have the yodling mountain man and Plinko, I don't care.

4. The Simpsons movie was released. Only about twelve years too late, but you take what you can get, I suppose. The Simpsons is one of those parts of this generation's Americana, and it's fun to see it get its own movie. Even if it already has had 20 years of episodes.

5. The San Diego ComicCon Hits This Weekend. I don't know about you, but my idea of a good time is being packed into a room with 20,000 sweaty nerds who are arguing about who the best Dr. Who villain was. In serious tones. And they're citing references. Geez, that sounds just like my sister's wedding.

Some other crap we like on the ol' crappy internets

A cool IPTV application: http://www.getmiro.com

A cool Geek: http://www.sarahlane.com

Dan's favorite Internet TV show right now: http://www.tomgreen.com

Matt's favorite Internet TV show... none he doesn't realize the power of the Internet.

This Weeks Topics

1. Michael Vick Indicted on Dog Fighting Charges. Oh, Bad Newz Kennels, why must you hurt me so? Seriously, though, did he honestly believe nobody would figure this out? The guy is a mulimillionaire several dozen times over, in the public spotlight, and constantly under investigation. If you're a starter in the NFL, and you're still trying to pull this crap, you get what you deserve.

2. David Beckham Hurt Himself, and Might Not Make His U.S. Debut. All that pomp and circumstance, and the guy twists his ankle? I don't think he's faking it though. I know if I had to sit around at home all day and listen to Posh bitch, I would hurry back to work.

3. The Final Harry Potter Book Is Unleashed on the Public. Eh. I'll wait for the movie. I also won't be shocked when the entire series is spoiled for me about 15 minutes after the series came out. I actually had a copy in hand the other day, but I didn't open it. It's not that I didn't want to face a $200,000 lawsuit, it's that I'm deathly afraid of papercuts.

4. MTV Has Cancelled Pimp My Ride. Dammit, now I'll never get my station wagon pimped out with a 42 inch plasma screen TV, an X-Box, a hot tub, and $50,000 in faux gold plating. Sigh.

5. Facebook Gets Crappy. Facebook was always kind of the "sophisticated" version of Myspace. It certainly wasn't nearly as loud or gaudy, and you get all the same information. But if you've been on their recently, you know that they're constantly adding new and crappy apps to make the experience as mind numbing as possible. Can emo music and glitter graphics be far behind? Stay tuned!

Show Notes

Movies to watch
    The Virgin Suicides
    Strangebrew

Movies to aviod
     Eraserhead
     Dogtown

A cool webservice you should join: Pownce.com

The funniest VidCast Dan has seen lately: midwestteensexshow.com  (no it isnt porn)

A great application to check out: Mira