Girls You'll Never Get

Erika - Three Bikinis One Girl

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:25:28 -0800

Welcome to the bikini judging competition. The winner of the bikini judging competition gets a date with the girl and a chance to take it from there. Now this is a bikini judge contest. One girl, three bikinis. You have to pick your favorite bikini and provide a reason why. We would also like your second place pick with pros and cons, as well as the bronze winner. No lazy fellas here guys. Study those things. How's the floral pattern? Beads on the red number? That LBB (Little Black Bikini) is simple and sleek. Nice one girl! Ok make your list now.

Here's how I voted. Don't let this influence your ballot.

1) I kinda fall for little black bikinis. THe LBB keeps it so simple that it takes nothing away from a girl's natural beauty. What's the deal with the girl in the little black bikini? She's a knockout.

2) I choose the red bikini second because it reminds me of a girl I met in Hawaii who had almost the same one. We spent a week together on the North Shore of Oahu playing around Turtle Bay. It was great.

3) The green and white floral printed suit is nice. Fits very well. But prints are sort of distracting to me. Don't get me wrong - suit is great! But compared to the other two I'd have to leave it at number three.

Time to submit your votes guys. We'll be getting back to you. Oh yeah and one more thing - the winner doesn't really get the girl. Don't forget what you're watching here folks. These are Girls You'll Never Get!

Erika - Three Bikinis One Girl

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:17:00 -0800

Here's how I voted. Don't let this ruin your vote.

Cute Jamie Is A Maneater

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:01:08 -0800

Cute Jamey has the smile. Cute Jamey has the moves. But there's a bad little name for girls like Jamey. She's a maneater!

You'll never make it out alive. You'll be a fool to think you'll be alright. She's the cute young lady, smart and bubbly, head to toe second to none. But that's where you'll go wrong my friend - Jamie's act's too good to be true. For when she's done and had her fun, Jamie's out and you're on the wrong side of used. Can't change her, can't make her, even though it's so great to try - she'll always be a maneater.

Blanche Doesn't Mean To Be A Heart Breaker

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:41:25 -0700

Walking through town with her hand on her heart and a smile on her face, she has not a worry in the world nor a second to spend on unpleasant predicaments. She is the girl Earth stands still for. She is the girl affection hits with no resistance. And she is the girl that is utterly, completely, unreachable.

Many hearts have been broken. Many dreams have been crushed. Where a man once stood tall lays now a suffering soul. For this is just a day in the life of a Girl You'll Never Get. Hope repressed is only someone else's problem. Her fault it is not. Life is meant to be lived. She is doing her best. What's a girl to do when she's been blessed with Aphrodite'st genes and a perfect personality? Just go on living. That's what.

Rock n' Roll Ladies in Need of Some Clothing

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:28:23 -0700

How is it that girls as hot as these wear the smallest articles of clothing possible? They flaunt their unobtainable bodies in front of you in a seducing way only for their own pleasure. One of these Girls You'll Never Get has the shortest shirt I've ever seen. A shirt that didn't start out that small, of course. It was cut into a teeny tiny mini-shirt so she could provide the most teasing peak possible. Torture you with her love bubbles. The love bubbles that unfortunately your dirty little hands will never touch. Sorry man, that's just how it is. But don't worry - there's millions of guys just like you. Enjoy the company!

Be sure to check out the rest of the Girls You'll Never Get on Mevio Men.

Hello Money Honey

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 11:15:15 -0700

What is a Girl You/'ll Never Get up to when she/'s busy not gettin/' got? Making money leaning on slot machines and making /'em look sexy. Duh! Now just because these girls are busy working doesn/'t mean they aren/'t eligible for a pick-up. What kind of line would you use? Here/'s one for you: walk over to the slot machine behind her with a quarter in your hand and say /"Excuse me you are leaning on my lucky machine. Last time I played this one I won a million dollars./" See how she reacts to that one. Most likely she/'ll move out of your way and give you some flirty little response. This is your chance to talk to her. As you continue to play the machine take it real slow and ask her if she would like to pull the handle. But don/'t be like /"hey would you like to pull my handle./" That/'s college material. Go old school and say /"well you like a good luck charm would you do the honor of tugging on my golden lever?/"

Now when those three cherries don/'t line up say to her /"Please don/'t be upset you aren/'t unlucky. I didn/'t really win a million dollars last time. But my name is _____ would you like to go out on a date?/" After she slaps you don/'t get your panties in a bunch, just remember, you/'ll speaking to another Girl You/'ll Never Get.

BBQ Ribs Platter, Garden Salad, and Bikini Girls

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 11:34:00 -0700

Heading to the beach is a pleasant experience, wouldn't you say? An experience filled with sun, surf, sand and - oh, you know - maybe a few pretty ladies bronzing some skin. Now we're talking. This is why we drove out to the coast, right brahhh? But just because you made it to the seashore doesn't actually mean you're any closer to the action. You have to break out some game! It's not easy picking up girls at the beach. You're all too familiar with hearing the lines " Sorry I'm just trying to tan, not book a date " and " Beat it, ya monkey ".

Let's take it a step further and travel to a spot we like to call Hooters Beach. On Hooters Beach the sun shines bright. On Hooters Beach the bikinis are smaller and aren't exactly form fitting -- in a good way. Visualize that one for a second. As you walk up to one of these ladies what's your opening line? Quick! " Hi I just uhhhmm, wanted to say that…. you have a really pretty, I mean I like your, um, surfboard. "

Guess it probably doesn't really matter much though anyways, since you will actually never actually make it to Hooters Beach. The chicks on this beach are so far out of reach you couldn't get there in a rocket ship filled with booze and condoms and a talking computer named HAL. Best keep to watching the video, learning some lines, and staying down the coast with all the sea men. That's right I said it, cause I'm a man, man. And you're watching MeVIO Men ! Uhhh.

Bikini Babe Jackpot

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:54:00 -0700

What do surfboards and slot machines have in common? Pretty much nothing if you don't include the "very hot chick in a bikini laying all over them". Cause that's what's goin' on here! This smoking brunette broke out her itsy bitsy teenie weenie lipstick printed bikini with the sole intention of flaunting it in your face and saying '"Look at me and what may be fake or what may be real, what may be the very things you'll never get to even think aobut figuring out. Pair of aces? Not for you!

What is the most torturous about them is the way they're dressed in so many wonderful little outfits. From the orange strappy thing to the kiss mark printed top to the pink shiny one. Pure pretty. Are they really outfits though, or merely just large pasties? Doesn't really matter. Because there they are on a girl that - wait for it - a girl that you are not going to ever, ever, ever get!

And where are you never going to get these girls? Always never on MeVIO Men .

Shannon Swims Mad Laps in a Jacuzzi

Fri, 11 Sep 2009 10:42:12 -0700

Shannon has the most awesome jacuzzi ever! It's so large, the water looks perfect, and the lighting is just amazing. She can almost swim laps in that wonderful hot tub. How warm do you think that water is? I don't know what it is but something about Shannon just screams 'refreshed.'

Wouldn't you like to join Shannon in that hot tub? How much do you think a hot tub of that size costs? Probably a lot more money than you will make... this year. Pretty sure the guy who will be joining Shannon for a nice, relaxing, all-nighter on that deck is currently inside the house making cocktails with top shelf liquors and smiling to himself about how lucky he is to have everything in the world he wants. Including Shannon. Oh well - just another Girl You'll Never Get .

Daniella's Not a Fella

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 09:59:14 -0700

Yeah, that's exactly what happens. It's nothing good. The cabana, the beach, the bikini, the girl within. Nothing good. Bad for you to watch. Bad for you to think there was ever a chance that you should think you'd have a chance -- either thinking, having a chance at thinking, oh, and having a chance with the girl. Especially with the girl. Girl - 1. You - 0.

btw, her name is Daniella -- and you can't do a damn thing with that info, now can you? Watch more Girls You'll Never Get -- cause they're all not waiting for you!

And would you believe, we cover all of wild wacky world of bikinis on beaches... and maybe even a car crash or two on MeVIO Men .

Serve It Up: Bikini Volleyball, Frisbee, Splashy Sports, and Oiling Up

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 10:10:27 -0700

Yes it's just another sunny day of summer with six hot women just having a good time... just having a good time. And you get to drink a corona and even some chips and candy bars. Cause no matter how fat you get, these girls will be right here for you. In fact, you might as well eat up, cause these are the girls you'll never get .

And girls, just pretend you're doing what you do everyday. Play volleyball in your skimpy bikinis. It's you and two of your exceptional hot friends against three of your other exceptional hot friends. Play frisbee in your skimpy bikinis. Splash around in the ocean in your skimpy bikinis. And oil up and lay in the sun in your skimpy bikinis.

This outrageously good time brought to you by MeVIO Men -- because we care.

Skimpy White Bikini Says Hello

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 13:05:24 -0700

No-name should be your favorite type of beautiful blonde in a skimpy white bikini because it removes all of that awkward conversation that'll you'll never have with her. No intros necessary.

No-name likes long walks on the beach being filmed by a camera crew. No-name likes posing in ways that pretend to talk to you much in the same way the strippers that you know by name at your local Candy Cat understand why you're misunderstood -- and tell you maybe later, you can go out on a date.... if only management policies would allow it. Tsk tsk.

No-name likes to have the wind blow through her hair while she wears that itsy bitsy bikini because it tells you have free she is: free with her thoughts, free with her body, free to pick you, free to completely ignore you -- but only in reality. In the world of Girls You'll Never Get, she'll pick you every time, you lucky sod!

This experience has officially enshrined you as a member of MeVIO Men. Feel free to continue the quest.

Josephine Likes Wicker Chairs

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 11:34:00 -0700

Josephine likes wicker chairs. Josephine likes to wear bikinis. Josephine likes to wear bikinis in wickers chains.
She likes the patterns that form on her back and legs when she sits on a wicker chair for too long in a bikini.

Josephine shaves her pits. Josephine likes to wear bikinis. Josephine likes to hold her arms up, expose her pits, wear a bikini, and sit in a wicker chair all at once.

Josephine likes to walk in an exaggerated way down stairways. Josephine likes to turn to the side when she wears a bikini heading down a stairway in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, someone will check her out.

Josephine likes to wear sunglasses then take them off -- all while wearing a bikini.

Josephine likes mini lighthouses. Josephine likes to hug a mini lighthouse -- and wear a bikini.

Josephine likes to smile right at you, then snarl, then smile. That's so great.

The camera guy filming Josephine is a perv. He'll never get Josephine -- that's a shame.

You'll find more wicker chairs, lighthouses and bikinis on Girls You'll Never Get -- all on MEVIO Men .

Denise Says No to You!

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:34:04 -0700

Denise is the type of girl that likes to take long walks on the beach at sunset in an orange bikini and a whole camera crew -- all without you. Boo hoo.

Yeah, it's not like you should be surprised but that body is ready to brush you off when you approach her at the beach or at the bar or in any setting really. That's the way of the world. The more you like what you're looking at -- those long legs, purebred torso, dazzling eyes -- the less chance you have of getting some, my son.

Better luck next time!

Danielle Takes a Dip

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:53:42 -0700

Ahh, the wholly unnatural world of bikini modeling -- that somehow men like to watch. Forget Sports Illustrated, we've got more bathing beauties than you can shake a magazine at.

Danielle takes her work to the waterfall and poses in her skimpy bikini just for you. It's almost like she's calling your name -- but not really. It's almost like she likes you -- but not even. It's almost like she's your girlfriend -- but never ever.

Catch this show and other great girlie videos on MEVIO Men.

Pillow Fight!

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 01:15:00 -0700

What ridiculous teenage fantasy are you going to watch now? Why it's easy... a pillow fight between four gorgeous girls in bikinis. Gratuitous. Yes it is. Just try not to imagine yourself on that couch. Good luck.

Betsy's Big Game

Thu, 12 Mar 2009 15:47:39 -0700

This week on Girls You'll Never Get, we introduce you to Betsy, the hot blonde with a mean game of chess -- so go ahead and watch, it's the best you can do.

Watch Betsy look directly at you! That's right, it's a personal performance where only you get to watch. Her blonde locks flowing in the wind. Her bikini barely clinging to her totally hawt bod. omg, it's just another women who you think is looking at you but is trying to get into the business in L.A. With promises of being a star, Betsy performs to the camera, playing with palm fronds and big chess pieces on the beach.

Watch out for her in a Hollywood Blockbuster or your local Denny's.

For more girls, things smashing, smashing things, and things that perform for you, just you, head on over to MEVIO Men!