Nearly The News #081

OHIO: NAME CHANGE OR ATTENTION GRAB?

The Ohio General Assembly overwhelmingly approved changing the state’s name to Iraq on Thursday in an effort to get federal help for schools and roads. Chicagodope.com is reporting the bill was immediately signed by Gov. John Kasich. 
“Over the past decade, Congress gave $120 billion for building projects in Iraq and Afghanistan,” said Kasich. “That’s money that we here in Ohio could certainly use to improve our own infrastructure and create jobs, so steps had to be taken.”
The bill also renames the state capitol from Columbus to Baghdad.
http://www.thechicagodope.com/2011/09/15/ohio-changes-name-to-iraq-to-get-federal-help/

BACHMANN: SHAKIN’ ALL OVER – NOT!

Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann has raised the bar for her fellow presidential contenders by vowing to put an end to the spate of earthquakes that have recently pummeled the East Coast. Crystalair.com says the GOP hopeful said she hopes to “restore dignity, pride and stability” to the New York-Washington region.
“Do we want four more years of Obama-induced natural disasters?” Bachmann asked supporters at a sub shop in Jacksonville Beach Florida. “I think not.”
http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201108011

And finally…

KATE PLUS DEAD WEIGHT

Crystalair.com also says even though her long-running reality show Kate Plus Eight is coming to a close, Kate Gosselin won’t be sitting on the sidelines for long.  Gosselin has inked a deal with TLC to appear alongside Tom Bergeron as co-host of a new show called Kids Touch The Darnedest Things.  “Kate’ll be awesome” says a source close to the show.  “And Tom, well, America likes a little bland with their sassy.”
Hey, good luck to them both.
http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201109006