Nearly The News #078

PERRY TO TEXIFY AMERICA

Crystalair.com is reporting that GOP presidential hopeful Tex. Gov. Rick Perry says he believes the solution to all of America's problems is to quite simply to "just be more like Texas." Perry laid out his three-point plan at a recent meeting of the Legally Employed Texan Latinos Association.

"I don't know what kind of Muslim-Ebonics religion Obama practices, but here in Texas we only got three religions," Perry told the smallish crowd, pointing to guns, high school football and Christianity where people give as much money as they possibly can to the guy with the best hair.
http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201108009

HEADS OR TAIL BACKS
That same website is also reporting a rule change for the NFL season.  In addition to video reviews of every scoring play and moving kick-offs to the 35 yard line, the coin toss to determine possession will now be replaced with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

"We've known for a long time that flipping a coin in the air was an absurd way to determine who gets the ball," said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. "We think this new rule removes the element of chance and restores football to a 100% game of skill and concussions.”
http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201109001

KIM K SAYS NO WAY TO RAY J
And finally, this scoop from Derfmagazine.com, who say despite their past relationship, Kim Kardashian and her former boyfriend Ray J were unable to agree on terms for him to videotape her wedding.
Many believed that Ray J would get the job, considering his work with Kim in the past.

“I’m truly disappointed,” said a crestfallen Ray J. “I know just how to videotape Kim and I would have made sure that the wedding video was a thing of beauty… with lots of tongue.”
http://www.derfmagazine.com/news/entertainment/kardashian-wedding