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Nearly The News Pat Robertson, Kardashian Butt and Bachmann Eyes - Nearly The News #060

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Jul 06, 2011 Pat Robertson, Kardashian Butt and Bachmann Eyes - Nearly The News #060

Nearly The News #060

PAT ROBERTSON: GOD IS AN ANGRY QUEEN!


Conservative religious leader Pat Robertson says God will destroy America is a hissy fit of wrath over New York’s plan to allow gays to marry.

“Oh, he is p-i-s-s-e-d,” said Robertson on his 700 Club broadcast.  “God’s gay anger will smite all the sinners.  You haven’t seen gay rage like this since Nathan Lane couldn’t get his latte with skimmed milk!”

Robertson has predicted the end of the world before, but somehow manages to remain on TV.


KIM KARDASHIAN: SO THAT’S WHERE IT WENT


Kim Kardashian’s attempt to show she doesn’t have butt implants with a public X-ray, had the unexpected result of revealing the location of her head.

“OMG,” she told Entertainment Tonight. “People always said it was up there, and I guess they were right.  Wanna see my ring? It’s super shiny.”  


MICHELE BACHMANN: LOOK AWAY, I DEFY YOU


Michele Bachmann’s eyes say they’re running for the presidency.  

Her pupils told hypnotized reporters this week that she would bring conservative values back to the White House, before bringing members of the media up on stage to impersonate chickens.   

This episode written by Collin Friesen.