1.   The Opener – The Jerky Boys – Kissel Crooner

a.   How the fuck is Jon Gosselin getting so much action?

b.   Dick Mann’s Contest

2. Them Crooked Vultures   - Supergroup featuring Josh Holme, Dave Grohl, John Paul Jones.

c.        Stephen Baldwin is bankrupt – I’m A Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here.  And by “Here” I Mean Bankruptcy.  Do You Remember Me In The Usual Suspects?  Well, You Can Suck It Because I’m Not Interested In “Big Movies” Anymore.  I Do Have a Question For You Though.  How ‘Bout I Sweep Under Your Porch For a Few Bucks?

d.       Josh Holme produces New Arctic Monkeys

3. You’re Dead To Me – And Everyone Else. 

i.    Ed McMahon

ii.    Michael Jackson

iii.    Walter Kronkite

iv.    Jay Bennett

v.    Farrah Fawcett

vi.    Steve McNair

vii.    David Carradine

viii.    Oscar Meyer

ix.    Billy Mays

5.    La Musica

f.    Adam Yauch has cancer.  http://stereogum.com/archives/new-beastie-boys-feat-nas---too-many-rappers_080221.html (new Beasties featuring Nas is quite illin’).  YYY’s expected to sub for them at major festivals.

g.    Speaking of festivals – it’s Lollapalooza!

i.    Depeche Mode, Tool, Jane’s Addiction, YYY’s, Animal Collective, Fleet Foxes, Deerhunter, No Age, and Kess isn’t going.

ii.    Is DJ TA  going?

h.    Pitchfork just happened and we weren’t there.  Dick Mann said he went and here’s who he saw.

i.    Good Charlotte, Mudvayne, Jet, Slipknot, Live, J-Lo, and Lady Ga-Ga.  When the crew begin to suspect a story, Dick Mann quickly adds that U2 and Matchbox 20 totally rocked.  And (over objections) Europe and Duran Duran.  No?  He’s serious.  Europe was there.  And the Bangles.