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Posted: 07/11/08 06:58 pm |
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Operating Room! The New Television Show bringing you the knuckle whitening fear and Excitment of an Operating room in the old west. Sheriff: Pasty Zeek Youve got two slugs in ya and Doc. Hotberg has passed out cold into a horse trough full of whiskey. So Ill have to operate you play nurse. "Scalpel" . Outlaw: Sheriff I can hardly reach that scalpel, and besides you aint no doctor, and besides that aint no scalpel that scalpel is a healthy Adult timber rattlesnake and besides I got a Winchester Rifle pointed at ya and besides and besides youre unarmed and Naked. Sheriff: why do ya think I want ya to pass me the snake. Now Zeek youve lost too much blood you need a transfusion from your close relative. Sister Jean Polly Hellmouth Immagene Juliet Sagginaw your own father. Outlaw: God Damn it thats my mother sheriff look at that long hair and nun suit. Snake: boys yo've gotta settle these differences. Untie me and let me down from off of this coat hook. You may think its funny but its givin me pins and needles. I'll Operate myself using a sharp toothed weasle, you wont feel a thing. Too late Snake hes passed away! You can come on out of that rattlesnake costume now deputy. And explain to me who told you snakes can talk. Buzzards soar overhead Tumbleweeds pass by and a little Holographic Three Dimensional Network Logo Appears in the lower right hand corner of the screen. When you lean in closer to your computer screen you find the network logo is actauly a miniature doorway to another dimension. The Blogtv Engineers are still working on programming this trendy new aged feature into their site. Watch plenty of quality Internet TV everyday for whiter teeth and a natural kind of clean. Im Captain Yowzerz and this is the Captain Yowzerz Experiment as weve previously discussed in the past once before. Some people say they are way too busy to take their life saving CPR class at their local hospital morgue or medical school. These uncaring types dont know that on the final judgement day outside Heavens Gate an old bearded man in a dress could collapse in a fit and rely on your life saving skills and if you fail God is Dead. But with proper CPR training you've miraculously saved the world of sinners for a future day. |
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Posted: 07/11/08 04:14 pm |
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Howdy gang Im Captain Yowzerz and this is the Captain Yowzerz Experiment broadcstaing live to you right Now! Picking up the pieces of your ruined life after a serious crime incident. First you broke into the home using your safe American made burglar tools then you subdued the sleeping home owners using high intensity industrial strength marshian gas. From a nearby flying saucer. next you carried out good rings, Gold jewelry, watches, Home stereo appliances. and you didnt get caught because you used your criminal brain. but Now youve opened up a used electronics store across town and shoplifters have carried out Good rings, Gold Jewelry watches, Home stereos, Appliances and finally your own body!! - Hoisted out of your own store by careless crooks. Whoops my mistake those were really the aliens from the saucer carrying you away. Youve Been Shoplifted by Superior Consciousness. City County and State Police Forces can not help you. Call in an experienced mercenary Who Specializes in Surveilance firearms, Explosives, and Sammurai ninja warriors well trained in the special tactic of hardcore Rogue Guerilla Combat. Totally Weird heavily Armed survivalists will battle the Marshians for less. Get the jop done yourself dont count on the Government, Which Ironically is paying for for this very Public Service Ad. |
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Posted: 07/11/08 03:53 pm |
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Hey Gang I've got a Public service Spot right here called the HomeOwners Helper Segment of the show. We're gonna show ya you see. Show ya how ta paint your Own house. First Get a Frenchman then stick him on your lawn along with and easel and oil paints. Now put a Beret on his head and he will spontaneously start up to painting. Frenchmen cant help it. When finished the stylish portrait of your house is so beautiful you can live inside the painting. Just like in Rod Serlings Night Gallery. Where you must spend eternity inside a hideous nightmarish painting. This week the painting is Summer Wildflowers. oh well if you cant figure out how to paint your house then sell it intsead. First call your Realitor. Hes the middle man who will take the buyers money and kind of spread it around so we can all enjoy it. Of course human beings dont have enough money to buy a house anymore but you sign a deal with a rich and famous killer whale from Hollywood he wants a roomier modern split level home he can fill with sea water and live out his retirement in. The animal Kingdom will bail out this country by paying for goods and services nobody else can afford. Now its time for some saddastically vicious angry hate mail Dear Captain Yowzerz, You were wrong wrong wrooonnng Last week when you said Catholic school girls made of cast off scotch tape dispensers. Sewn together by benidicteen monks. These dispensers are actually sewn together by Franciscan Monks Next time check your freakin facts. Before you turn the airwaves and webwaves into a Network of Lies. signed, The Libyans. |
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Posted: 07/11/08 03:29 pm |
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I've got the Real true life story of Beethoven for you right now. Many dimWits believe he was a Twotonic deaf person who used to dress up likie Thomas Jefferson and order people around. But they never listened. The truth of the matter is that Beethoven was never medically deaf. Scholars now fantasize that Beethoven pulled a dummy routine for thirty years as a result of disinterest. He was able to clench his earlobes and plug up his own ears through muscular exertion. Now how did Beethoven write music with his ears all sealed up. Could the Works of Beethoven have really been composed by somebody else. Beethoven's great rival Antonio Forae was a fish monger who loved to whistle. Beethoven set out to steal those tunes so he forced Forae to whistle by stealing his dog. Antonio Struck back tying a Mackeral on a string to lure Beethovens own pet a lovesick goldfish who wanted out. The Goldfish fell in love with the dog who swallowed him. Beethoven never forgot this trauma and set out to compose his masterwork, A Symphony to sum up all of mans excesses Power and Glory. But just then a couple of kids in derby hats busted in on him and bashed and Tolchoked him a couple of times and wrecked the place. They assaulted him and raped his wig as his wife was over six foot five and they left her alone. Beethoven never forgot this trauma and set out to compose his most Powerful and beloved Opus. A Comercial Jingle for name brand snuff. Kids take my advice and leave the sneezy stuff alone. Your favorite musical White Guy Ludwig Van Beethoven had a serious snuff habit. One day he sniffed in some snuff and sneezed so hard his candleobra flew out the window Sailed around the world and started the great Chicago fire. Your Real truth speakin live broadcaster speakin to you right. Im Captain Yowzerz and this is the Captain Yowzerz Experiment. |
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Captain Yowzerz AKA "Frank the Voice"'s Blog
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