Carly Palmer's Blog

10,000 BC Review: C+

Before I start talking about the movie this week, I’d like to take a moment to discuss trailers. The previews that play before a movie have always been on of my favorite parts of the experience. When a trailer is edited perfectly, the right scenes from the movie in place, the music perfectly time to excite and intrigue, it is a thoroughly enjoyable three minutes. In fact, the only thing good about Jumper was the Dark Knight trailer, while Definitely, Maybe was made even more enjoyable by a new glimpse at Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. For 10,000 BC, though a number of familiar trailers played, I got the best thrill of them all so far: Iron Man. Now that is a well made commercial, if ever I saw one.

Moving on to the movie itself now.

The basic idea of the movie is a prehistoric village of Mammoth hunters are captured by men from far away to work as slaves under a ruler that is considered a God. A young member of the tribe eludes capture, and sets out to save his tribe and, more specifically, the blue eyed woman he loves. He ends up becoming the center of a number of prophecies from the various civilizations he encounters, and by the end he is the center of an epic battle for freedom.

The historical inaccuracies of this movie might make your head spin. If you go in expecting a fact based lesson on history, rather than an entertaining story of prehistoric fantasy, you deserve to be disappointed. The plot takes many liberties, borrowing data from numerous eras to articulate the story. It does not strive to be a documentary on the life of a caveman, but rather a work of fiction that utilizes the circumstance without rigidly adhering to the rules archeologists have established.

The story is simple in that respect, with a common journey of an unlikely hero on a quest that he rises, despite the doubts around him, to complete. When he finally does get to the city of the God, where his people are forced to build pyramids and sphinxes, the story comes a bit familiar. At this moment if feels as though the writers were flipping through their text book and the chapter on Egypt fell open, while the original Stargate movie was playing in the background.

Dialogue in this movie is sparse, and generally useful when it pops up. The accents are a bit hard to place, but I suppose it would have been just as odd hearing them all speak with American intonations. The actors are not recognizable, sometimes even from each other as masses of the dirty, long haired slaves more together, but their portrayals are reasonable enough. The characters are all likable, in that I enjoyed them in the tasks they were set out to do. The lead couple were sweet and endearing. The best hunter in the tribe was wise. The bad guys, until the very end at least, were fun to dislike.

Unfortunately, the ending seems a bit rushed and contrived. There is a moment of, for lack of a better explanation, spiritual magic that seems out of place with the context of the rest of the film. Even so, it did wrap up the plot succinctly, and I was not left with nagging questions that would go on unanswered. It was a simple, easy way to end a relatively non-complex story, and for that it was only vaguely disappointing.

The thing that really surprised me was the graphics. At this point, it’s hard for me to be impressed by special effects in films. In fact, I had seen the pinnacle of movie magic back in the days when Jurassic Park was released. Bearing that in mind, with the slight up of dinosaur making an appearance in 10,000 BC, I was ready to be visually convinced that they were chasing giant Mammoths, that a herd of angry bird critters was attacking them, and that a giant saber toothed tiger was keeping the protagonist company. Too bad I was let down. The cinematics are there, the grand world in which they live beautiful and vast, but the ancient critters just did not fit in.  I never lost sight of the fact that I was watching a computer generated animal.

At the end, the movie is a great romp through good, ol’ fashioned story telling. What it lacks in aesthetics and depth it makes up for with entertaining chases and battles and engaging characters. It is a good way to kill two hours, as you will not be bored while watching it. Just don’t expect to be discussing it for intricate plot twists and lasting, impactful moments once the credits roll.

Semi-Pro Review: B

Will Ferrell seems to be running through the gamut of sports movies, from his humble start as a unwitting children’s soccer coach (Kicking and Screaming) to his romp as a dim race car driver (Talladega Nights) and his stint as a sex-obsessed ice skating sensation (Blades of Glory). His most recent trip into the less-than glamorous life of inept athleticism is Semi-Pro. Ferrell stars as Jackie Moon, the owner/coach/power forward of the American Basketball Association’s Flint Michigan Tropics. When news of a merger between the ABA and NBA details the plans of a merger of the ABA with the NBA, Jackie Moon and the Flint Tropics must work together to achieve their dreams of playing professional basketball.

The movie is funny. It is supposed to be funny. There is no real depth here, with physical comedy and puns take prevalence to witticisms and clever repartee. The writing is not supposed to remind one of Oscar Wilde. All it is intended to do is to make the audience laugh, and it succeeds. There are some truly hilarious moments, and the plot is not as weak as some sport-comedy movies. It is, of course, the classic set up: they are presented with a challenge that they must over come by playing their hardest and moving up in the ranks. Yet there are some unique attributes that make this over done story almost fresh. They are not going for first place, for one thing, but aiming for fourth. There’s something much more believable in that, somehow. It’s not much, but it was enough to have me on the edge of my seat as the final seconds of the last game started to tick away.

Will Ferrell struts his comedic prowess throughout the film, with his casual deliveries and clever quips making him at once easy to relate to and a complete oddity. He is the star, and steals each scene he waltzes through, yet it’s hard to consider Jackie Moon the protagonist here. In my limited experience and opinion, the protagonist of any story is the one that drives the action. This is the character that undergoes the greatest change by the end. Jackie Moon, though struggling against the ABA Board, which must be considered the antagonist, is not this character. Woody Harrelson, playing Eddie Monix, a washed up former NBA player, fits this role more accurately.

Monix seems to be starring in a much more substantial film as his side story unfolds away from Jackie Moon and the trouble in the Tropics. He returns to Flint Michigan after being traded from the Boston Celtics for a washing machine and finds an old flame in Lynn (Maura Tierney). Monix struggles to find redemption, despite being past his prime as a basketball player, having earned a Championship ring by riding the bench through the play off games. He gets off to a rocky start on the Tropics, conflicting with the confident and talented Clarence (André Benjamin), yet manages to coach them into something of a viable team. It is Monix that undergoes the most change, as a person and a player, and through him the story moves.

The remaining cast members do a sufficient job of being entertaining, despite not getting as much exploration as Moon and Monix. Will Arnet and Andrew Daly create a clever duo of sports casters for the Tropics, while Maura Tierney offers a subtle grace of humor to her appearance as Monix’s love interest. Rob Corddry makes what has to be the most uncomfortable appearance ever as the obsessive Kyle, Lynn’s apparent boyfriend, whose fan appreciation of Monix takes him to a voyeuristic situation as he comes home to find his girlfriend and her former lover together. It was a bit of a surprise to see Corddry in this movie, not having glanced at a cast list before going into it, because he had also appeared in two of the previewed movies before Semi-Pro started.

Semi-Pro is insipid and silly, filled with bad language and vomit jokes, but it doesn’t try to be anything else. There are no morals to be taken from it, and no life changing epiphanies waiting beneath the construction of the scenes. It’s a good time, particularly if you enjoyed Blades of Glory as much as I did, and if you’re looking for a laugh it is more than happy to supply a few. Don’t go in expecting too much, and it is more than possible to leave well satisfied that the price of admission was not wasted.

Peer pressure won me over this week as I caved in to box office polls and a general buzz around the campus in deciding which movie I would review. Generally I go to movies that I have some selfish interest in, not because of some obligation to the campus community, but rather to write about the movies and actors I want to write about. This week, however, I chose to see a movie that had not piqued my interest in anyway, despite being a frequent conversation piece for me to eavesdrop on in classes and number one at the box office. That movie was Jumper, staring Hayden Christensen.

That is the last time I allow other people to influence my decision making process.

I’m not going to start the review by saying this was the worst movie I’ve ever seen. First, because a statement like that should be saved until the end, where it’s direct message would be all the more potent, and second because I would be lying by saying it at all. I’ve seen worse movies. I’ve seen Gigli. Jumper does not deserve to be called the worst movie ever, but that is hardly a saving grace. It is still very bad.

I’d like to state that the title of this film might be a bit misleading if you are familiar with British colloquialisms. The plot in no way revolves around a sweater, pullover or otherwise. It actually focuses on an inexpressive protagonist with questionable moral sensitivities that discovers he has the ability to teleport to any place he can imagine in his head, earning him the title of Jumper. A group of anti-teleporter sociopaths calling themselves Paladins, driven by some loosely described religious zealousness, hunts and kills Jumpers for the greater good. And so young David Rice (played by the ever stoic Hayden Christensen) finds himself in the middle of a war between Jumpers and Paladins that has been raging, apparently, throughout time.

Don’t be alarmed by the warning claxons that might be sounding right about now. Those just belong to the 18-wheel Mac Truck backing its way comfortably through one of many gapping plot holes in the loosely knitted fabric that holds this film together. There are so many great concepts, the premise itself interesting enough to warrant a lot of attention, but the story never allows anything to be developed. The art, skill, and rules of teleporting, or rather jumping, are never articulated. Most of the details about the skill are left for the audience to pick out of the steaming piles useless, throw away dialogue the characters shovel at each other when they’re not trapped in a visually stunning, yet ultimately disappointing jump-fight.

This lack of substance seems to be the only consistent thing throughout the surprisingly long hour and a half run time. The characters suffer from never being fleshed out. It’s hard to care about any one of them, including the protagonist (for hero he is not) and antagonist. Each character is about as interesting as a plank of wood, without the possibility of pirates taking it and turning it into something useful for ending the misery of those nearby. No one seems to have any real chemistry, which is particularly painful when David and Millie (Rachel Bilson) stare longingly at each other in numerous futile attempts to feign a deep, ever lasting love. The two lovers feel more like friendly acquaintances, making most of the conflict in the film hard to buy into.

But Samuel L. Jackson must add something to this travesty of casting, right? For his part, he does. He plays the bad guy, and spends his time doing typical bad guy things like talking on cell phones and walkie talkies cryptically, looming in shadows, giving self-righteous speeches and generally being a jerk. I half expected him to pull out a purple lightsaber and get some pay back on young Skywalker, but it never happened. Instead I was treated to a bad guy with no real motivation beyond his mantra of ‘only God should have this power’.

Jumper had a lot of potential, with an interesting set up and a wealth of choices open to it. Instead of delivering something entertaining, however, it opts to meander listlessly through its own storytelling, until finally flopping down at a predictable ending that opens the door for an undeserved sequel. I would only recommend this movie to people who like watching movies while listening to their iPods or talking on their cellphones: as far as substance goes, this flick offers nothing more than background noise.

Score: B

Yes, another romantic comedy for the week, but at least this one is just a bit different. Definitely, Maybe does not spend its time focusing on laughs, but rather on the honest nature of its story and characters. While it does not always succeed in this, moments lingering longer than they should and one of the three love interests ringing less true than the other two, it does a good job of entertaining and making an audience member feel good. This movie is devoted to the warm-fuzzies, and delivers them by the truck load.

The plot centers around William Hayes, a former political consultant now working at an advertising office, who is getting a divorce. His young daughter inquires after the true story of how her father and mother met and fell in love, not settling for the idealized, romantic fairy tale version she is so familiar with. Will, reluctant, decides to relate his story of three serious girlfriends with fake names attached to her possible mothers, so that she would have to figure out for herself which became his wife and her mother. Soon the story becomes complicated as the three women move in and out of his life over the years, and both Maya and Will come to understand the nature of true love.

Ryan Reynolds delivers a charming performance as William Hayes. He is a sweet, lovable man who cares for his daughter and, perhaps more endearingly, cares about his relationships enough to keep trinkets and memories of each meaningful connection with him. Sure, the character is pretty simple, but that makes him accessible and likable. He is very natural and Reynolds provides a great source of chemistry with all three leading ladies, as well as a sweet relationship with his on screen daughter.

As a rule, I tend not to look for much from children actors in movies. Sure, there are some gem performances that deserve high marks, but these are exceptions, while the general crowd are just young people delivering lines as they were told to do, without too much effort or, really, success. Unfortunately, Abigail Breslin, playing the 11 year-old Maya Hayes, is not an exception. She is cute, but that’s the point. Precocious to a fault, she does a good job of being exactly what she needs to be: a head strong young girl, but does nothing to excel in the role. There are moments during her interaction with her father that make me think she would be a handful to raise, at best.

As far as the three love interests go, it is both difficult and easy to pick a favorite. It is easy because each one is different and has qualities that are individually easy to love. What complicates things is the nagging notion of wanting your favorite woman to be ‘the one’, aggravated by the way the movie does not try too hard to hide his final decision. There is a cute turn at the end, but even that is a bit predictable.

Elizabeth Banks plays his first love, the college sweetheart Emily. He leaves her behind when he heads for New York to work on Bill Clinton’s campaign in 1992, where he meets the free-spirited April. He is also referred by Emily to deliver a package to a friend of hers, Summer, who is a journalist for the ‘New Yorker’. With each woman Will develops a close, generally adorable connection and with each woman he experiences heartbreak and separation.

While Emily is good natured and kind and April is instantly likable for her positive attitude and quirky nature, Summer fails to capture the same quality of character. She never felt like as deep a love as the movie, and Will, insisted she was. Still, I was able to forgive this because the other two characters balanced it all out, and in the end it felt as if that was exactly what they had intended me to feel.

There are some generally funny moments that had me laughing out loud, and some sweet moments that should qualify as tear jerkers for some. It is a worth while experience, though not quite a ‘must see’. If you’re looking for a movie filled to the brim with sweetness and life lessons, then this one should do well. Just don’t expect to be surprised.